MB #092: Fake it till you make it

Read Time: ~3 Minutes

Let’s chat about a concept most of you might find rather odd at first: the transformative power of "fake it till you make it."

As fathers juggling work, family, faith, and personal wellness, we often face situations that push us beyond our comfort zones. Whether it's establishing a consistent workout routine, implementing healthier eating habits, confronting our own pride (or shame, greed, etc), or stepping into stronger spiritual leadership at home, the initial steps can feel awkward and unnatural.

The phrase "fake it till you make it" might initially sound counterintuitive, especially for those of us who value authenticity. Faking it is just that, fake. Why? Because it highlights the truth that the new behavior is not currently natural for “who we are”.

However, there's a deeper truth at work here. When we step into new behaviors that align with our goals and values, we're being “fake” – but we're actively participating in our own transformation. This process mirrors the spiritual principle of growing into our new nature in Christ.

The Apostle Paul addresses this transformative journey beautifully in Romans 6:11-16. He instructs us to "consider yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus" (v.11). This passage reveals a profound truth about personal change: we have the power to choose how we use our "instruments" – our bodies, minds, and abilities. Even when our flesh pulls us toward old habits and patterns of sin, we can actively choose to present ourselves as instruments of righteousness. Even when…or more appropriately, especially when our default inclination is more sinful than righteous.

I’m convinced that unless we’re willing to “fake it” or act in a way that’s not our default natural selves, we’ll likely never find lasting change.

Practical Application for Mission-Fit Dads

This principle applies directly to both our faith and fitness journeys:

1. Physical Training: When you don't feel like a "gym guy," or maybe you don’t really like exercise…show up anyway. Present your body as an instrument of discipline and strength.

2. Nutrition: When healthy eating feels foreign or you don’t yet like the healthier choices you need to make…make those choices deliberately anyways. Your body is a temple, and every nutritious choice is an act of stewardship.

3. Joy: When you typically feel frustrated by your children or others you disagree with… choose to operate with joy amidst challenges or even trials.

4. Family Leadership: When spiritual leadership feels uncomfortable, you feel ill-equipped, or you feel unqualified due to sin…step into it regardless. Lead family devotions, pray with your children and model Christ-like character.

5. Mental Toughness: When faced with challenges, choose to respond with the resilience you want to embody, even if you don't feel it yet. Motivation often follows action, not the other way around.

The Science Behind the Strategy

Research in neuroplasticity supports this approach. Our brains actually rewire themselves based on repeated actions and thoughts. When we consistently act in alignment with our desired identity – even when it feels unnatural – we're literally reshaping our neural pathways. What starts as "fake it" becomes genuine transformation through consistent practice. Then we “make it”.

Embracing the Process

Remember, this journey isn't about pretense; it's about growth. When we choose to act in alignment with our goals and values, even before it feels natural, we're participating in a partnership with God, through The Spirit, to bring about our own transformation. As Paul teaches, we're choosing to present ourselves to God as those brought from death to life.

Moving Forward

Start by identifying one area where you want to see change. Maybe it's:

• Establishing a morning workout routine

• Leading family devotions

• Making healthier food choices

• Implementing stress management practices

• Controlling your phone usage

• Breaking your social media or pornography addiction

Choose one action that aligns with your goal and commit to it, even when it feels uncomfortable, and ask God for the strength to follow through with what is not yet a new default setting. Remember, you're not being inauthentic – you're growing into the man God has called you to be.

Remember, brothers, transformation is a process. Just as Paul encourages us not to let sin reign in our mortal bodies, we have the power to choose righteousness, fitness, and intentional fatherhood – even when it feels uncomfortable at first.

To your health & mission,

-Chris

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